Monday, January 31, 2011

This Is What Excites Me About My Job

One of our other offices' managers mass emailed the whole company this, and although it is awful, it made me smile, and it is what makes my little nerdy engineer heart beat! :)

Happy Monday... 2 hrs till I head home! :)

Clearing the House

I need to start cleaning up the house of random stuff we have accumulated in the last 2 years. We have so much junk that needs to go! However, I feel horrible throwing it all out, and have no idea what to do with it. I wanna try to sell some of this stuff for super cheap (as it is used and I am sure not many people would be interested in buying it) .. but I have no idea how and where to sell it... Some of the stuff I wanna sell (my excercise bike in particular) is very bulky, big, not in crisp condition (makes a lot of noise... but does the trick just fine)... and I don't wanna bother having to ship it, so what the heck do I do w/ it??? As I said, I feel really bad throwing stuff out, so please tell me where/how do I get rid of all this junk?!

Here are some pictures of what I am talking about:

And the playpen that Wrinkles has used twice... and is just sitting around the house collecting dust.. waiting to be tossed or something?!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

IDK what to think...

So here’s what I thought would happen…music playing, candles lit, champagne sipped, general romance...a normal magical weekend

Here’s what actually happened…candles lit, music was confused for a phone going off, lecture given about smuggling alcohol across the border, pulls out a CPAP machine and attaches it to his face and rolls away from me…mentions something like this is what dating an old man is like…I lay there fuming, feeling half-rejected, the other half just feeling pissed that I wasted time/thought/energy into the whole thing.

But I’ve gotten ahead of myself…let’s start at the beginning

So he picked me up, we chatted a bit on the ride up…he played along with going through the IF book, we had some serious conversation about the ex-wife, what he wants, what I want, whether or not I’m a mid-life crisis (I mean seriously I had to ask)…got to the museum, wandered around, saw some cool stuff…he didn’t really seem interested…I couldn’t tell if he was just going there for me or not but he said he had a good time…headed over to the hotel, checked in…hung out there for a bit, ended up having sex (TMI alert: it was okay…he does have a smaller than average penis but makes up for it with his oral skills)…laid around and then showered changed and got ready for dinner…at dinner that’s where things started to go south in my opinion…we spent almost the whole meal not talking, like suddenly it seemed weird, forced…and then I started to worry that we’ll be like those couples that you see who don’t talk and sit at a table as if they’re sitting alone…I always feel sorry for those couples and yet here I was…so after dinner, we headed back to the hotel room. I figured it would be round two, insert aforementioned intro story here…instead he was weird about it, said he couldn’t keep up (not in a sexy I want to way, but more in an exasperated why do I need to deal with you kind of way)…so I sat stewing, wondering if this was how life was going to be and if I could deal with it…I started thinking about all the things that were kind of bothering me and they grew…I fell asleep thinking maybe I should keep looking…I had a dream that I did find someone new and that I was told that he’d love me but couldn’t buy me Uggs…I have no idea why I dreamt that…I woke up at one point and Adam had put a pillow between us…that was the last straw in my book…

By the morning, I was pretty much done…we ended up sleeping together one more time and then just a weird transition where he suddenly got up and got in the shower…I watched Sunday Morning…he kept looking at me and at his watch…at 9:20 he told me I should keep in mind check out is 11am…as if it takes me 2 hours to get dressed…so I showered and got dressed, pack things up and acted generally annoyed…in the lobby I faked a headache, he rushed out and got me Advil, I should enjoy this attention but for some reason it just really bothered me even more…the valet brought the car and we climbed in, I put on my sunglasses and stared out the window…he kept asking me what was wrong…I just told him it was the headache that bothered me, we didn’t really talk the whole ride back (other than him continually asking me if I thought we made a mistake or if I had regrets of some kind…the neediness was annoying me, I kind of felt like a bitch but I couldn’t help it)…I don’t know if I regret what happened part of me does but part of me always does when it involves some sort of physical encounter, maybe that’s all it is…as I type this post I kind of feel like I overreacted…maybe it wasn’t that bad…I mean he hasn’t dated for 12 years and his ex sounds like a crazed domineering lunatic…he isn’t used to normalcy…I have no idea how to feel right now...maybe I expected too much too quickly...I'd like to blame movies for my high expectations I think

Update: He just called me to see how I was feeling…FML why is he so nice?

To be honest I was already having second thoughts about things…I wondered how he would fit into the rest of my life…my time with the boys & our random vacation ideas, volleyball with the JFKers, work functions (of which there are plenty), my family stuff in general…I want someone who works with my life…not that I need someone who does whatever I want but I want someone who wants the same things…I don’t know what to say/do/think…

Friday, January 28, 2011


Maybe he’s busy. Maybe I’m being dramatic. Maybe it wasn’t going to work from the start…

I feel like I’m losing ground already…and there was barely any ground made…if this is the case I am SO getting drunk tonight

I didn’t even buy new underwear…where’s this all coming from?

Things are so complicated…or at least they feel that way…

So to give you an update…all in the past 24 hours, things have gone from completely fabulous to semi-ridiculous

I did buy champagne, as a surprise…maybe that’s whose fault it is…

He told me he loved me, while we were making out and like an idiot I said it back and then felt weird…because it’s too soon, because I don’t know, because people don’t act like this a few weeks in do they?

His soon-to-be ex-wife found out about us…we have mutual friends…she’s completely pissed despite having a boyfriend (including pre-separation)…she’s looking up info about me…it bugs him to a point that I think he can’t deal with it…not sure which one of us is getting the boot in this situation (this may be my own pessimism but let’s be real here---he could still love her)

They didn’t separate before the divorce…this bugs me, to a point that I don’t know if I’m a girlfriend or just a mistress…our weekend to Toronto is the same weekend she’s away in San Francisco…this made me feel more like the mistress/mid-life crisis…I went back on match last night and started looking around…I feel like him not messaging me back today is because he knows about it…

He’s pressuring me about meeting my family…I don’t know if I’m ready for it…I normally keep everything compartmentalized…and what if he thinks my family is weird…I’m protective about them…why does he want to meet them so badly?

The diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds thing was probably a joke…

I’d like to really hope this is just me being dramatic

I hope we’re still going to Toronto

I hope he still likes me

I hate waiting



Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Sofia - The History of Europe | София - Историята на Европа

Still Looking for a Pen Pal?!

I thought I would quickly jump on and share this website with you guys, because I think it will definitely be appreciated by our audience (all 4 of us) :) LOL. I do apologize if this is old news to you, it sure was news to me when I ran across it today.

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, January 24, 2011

The Dilemma

So I should give you a general update…Thursday was a scotch tasting (note to self: I don’t like scotch) but that day I also had a phone convo with Adam while I was waiting for Trisha…it was weird like I think he didn’t know what to say (we’ve been dating for like a week, talk about anything)…he just bought a new bed, but that was like the extent of convo on his side…it made me feel like he had people in the room and didn’t want to say too much, but he called me first…I don’t get it..and we set loose guidelines for the date on Saturday and he didn’t confirm on Friday/Saturday…I’m assuming the weird phone call made him not want to call again but WTF…seriously

So date number 2 with Adam was pretty successful…he picked me up and opened the car door (love stuff like that) and we headed over to the Galleria…he wanted to go to Hyde Park but considering I don’t eat steak or seafood that seemed silly…we opted for Cheesecake Factory instead…he dropped me off at the door and went to park…it was a two hour wait…that’s a negative for me…cheesecake is delicious but I shouldn’t almost die of starvation waiting for it…so we went across the street to Bar Louie…it have TVs…those of you who know me know this is an issue…I had ADD (self-diagnosed)…I can’t help it…I fought it off for the most part but there were a couple of times that I got caught watching the basketball game instead of paying attention to what he was saying…I did have two really delicious strawberry vodka/champagne types of drinks…they were wonderful…dinner conversation was good…he brought up the aforementioned awkward phone call…he didn’t really explain it but said that he was sorry he was awkward…meh whatevs…I hate the phone anyway

So afterward we went to the movies…he of course paid again (seriously a girl could get used to this)…saw the Dilemma…does Vince Vaughn ever play anyone but himself? I can’t be sure but every character is the same which leads me to believe they are all real-life him…even still the movie was good, I could see that Adam was attempting to hold me hand…so I made sure my hand just rested on my leg and after a few failed attempts he finally swooped in to close the deal…the good part…he also knew when to stop holding my hand…I mean seriously you can only do it for so long until you feel like your hand is on fire…or sweaty…sweaty is much worse…so he switched to the full arm around the shoulder deal…I definitely didn’t hate it

You can tell I’m very anti-PDA because in the dark I’m all for being touchy-feely because I think it’s personal and I don’t like drawing attention to myself…I say this because once we were back out in the mall Adam grabbed my hand and I went along with it but simultaneously was looking for an out…it’s not like I don’t like him I just am not a fan of PDA, no matter how small. So he went out to get the car and picked me up at the door (still really love this)…and we headed back to my house.

Once we were in my driveway he gave me a look that said he was going to kiss me and well I was happy about it…so we made out for a bit…he hinted that he would like to come up, I told him my mom was sick so that was a no-go and we continued to hard core make out in the car for a bit…somehow and I don’t know when this happened but he totally gave me a hickey…much to my horror…and a giant one at that!! Like seriously who does that? I think it might have been because I joked about keeping options open and he was clearly marking territory…it’s the kind that cover-up doesn’t cover…

I'm not sure he realized he did it...I noticed as soon as I walked in the house so I took a photo and messaged it to him with WTF on it....he apologized....but the words of my homegirl BP "Who over the age of 19 gives hickeys?"....clearly that I am wearing scarves at work all week.

The most hysterical part….the next morning I’m semi-horrified to show my mother so I avoid it…she sees it and says OMG when did you burn yourself (completely serious…she clearly doesn’t believe her daughter would semi-hook-up in the backseat of a car…and I proceed to say “Oh it was the flat iron last night, didn’t you see it already?”

Mostly Because I am a NERD!!! How fitting!!

So... we were at the store yesterday, and I saw this! I thought it was the funniest thing ever, and I pointed it out to Nick all excited, when he gave me the strangest look and thought I was stupid and very NOT funny! So I figured I would take a picture of the thing that made me laugh uncontrollably and made my boyfriend judge me and think I am stupid, and share it with my nerdy friends, who could maybe appreciate, not so much the picture, but the story behind it! LOL. And if all else fails, at least it will give you guys another reason to make fun of me :P

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Guess third time is the charm? far anyway

So tonight was the third date this month...really I am outdoing myself here and it went really well...I kissed him on the cheek at the end...I couldn't tell if that was hokey or classy...

We met up for coffee and we chatted it up...he's been a lot of places (I love travel!)....he has a dog (meh, I can manage)...he works for Citibank, he's not a serial killer (always a plus in my opinion) and we really got on well. He was a little awkward but in that way I find endearing, it was nice to see he was nervous and not a giant douche (you know what I mean)...he paid for our coffees, we chatted for about two hours, and then he brought up dinner and suggested Thai (I was ravenous at this point so I would have said yes to anything but plus point I <3 Thai)...still more conversation...about music and movies and work and randomness...he drove to the restaurant, I asked if he had any homicidal tendencies I needed to be worried about...he rolled with it and said they weren't skills he picked up yet...I liked the answer so I got in the car...One thing I really appreciated was earlier in the conversation I told him I'm a fidgeter...I had my hands under the table clearly fidgeting...and he was like "you should just be yourself and fidget...I don't mind" I thought it was nice...he told me the thing that caught his eye was my smile...that's very adorable...and he said that my profile was entertaining and that it was written very well (basically I wrote it as sarcastically as possible)

 On the drive back, he pulled out his IPOD, I snooped as he selected a song...eclectic mix...I like it

Back in the parking lot, he asked if he could have my number, so i gave it to him...and he asked if it were okay to call me...i said it was. He asked if we could date again, I said we could...he asked if he could call me before we went on another date...I said of course, I wouldn't expect any date this weekend because I am already booked with Happy Hour, Scrabble Tournament with the boys and Petch's birthday we talked about next weekend...and then he looked at me and I looked at him...and I thought to myself oh why i leaned in to half hug/half kiss and we ended up kissing on the cheek (although i really wanted to kiss kiss him)...and we said goodbye and drove our separate ways...

Maybe online dating isn't all bad...


So I’m in a weird position…I have been in my position about 8 months…but my predecessor is still here…which is uber handy for questions, training, etc because I am the only one in the company that does what I do…however it is super annoying when people consistently defer to her instead of me…or when I give a directive they look to her to make sure I should be saying what I’m saying…that’s the part that’s bullshit. It might be my fault for using her as a mini-crutch for a bit, I’ll admit it was easier to defer to her for somethings or make her the bad guy in some situations but I’ve really been working on finding my own way and making my own mark…maybe it will be easier once she’s gone…only a few more weeks but it really flared up today because I have been sending e-mails and making meetings and making plans and talking to contractors to fix our workforce numbers because it’s become an issue the mayor has noticed. I cc’d one of our VPs on a few things and sent him a direct e-mail…he doesn’t respond, doesn’t look at me, talk to me nothing---instead he goes to my predecessor and wants to talk to her when I’m in the cube across from her…like seriously what the fuck? Like you couldn’t check with me? I’m the author of things and I wanted some real direction…complete. Utter. Bullshit /rant

In other news…I have another blind date tonight…I agreed to do it for a month because I thought my dating skills were sliding off and honestly who doesn’t like a free dinner?…but now I’m just concerned because well in general this entire thing has been a dud…like why are people such creepers? I have been solicited to be friends with benefits, asked to be someone’s wife, and just in randomly awkward social situations…I doubt that non-online dating is much different…I’m just saying...I think this is my last one...let's say second to last cause well the month isn't over yet...

But anyway…so tonight…Adam…he’s in finance…we’ll see what happens, although I’m not too optimistic…okay that’s a lie I am hopeful but history doesn’t predict anything warm and fuzzy…maybe I’ll be wrong and he’ll be great and become my husband…I’ll update tomorrow….provided I’m not putting the lotion in the basket

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

First Day Of School For The Mister

So nerves are building up at the house, as Nick's getting ready for his first day of school in about 10 years. I am so excited and anxious for him to start and hopefully not be nearly as terrified as he imagines he will be.
In other news, interview yesterday went really well, the guy we interviewed was very prepared and impressive; however, my boss seems to think it may be better to hire someone 'cheaper'... what the hell has the world come to?! Since when is being qualified, prepared and educated a bad thing?! Oh well... I will keep you posted on the other 2 interviewees coming in tomorrow and Friday.. But looking at their resumes.. besides ridiculously high GPA's.. they don't seem to have much to offer, I guess we shall see!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Why can't my relationships with straight men be as successful as my relationships with gay men?

Yesterday Derek sent out an SOS text, his roommate Mike was moving out and it is SUPER awkward...they had a falling out and well it never completely mended and led to them going their separate ways....he needed friends to keep him busy and out of the house for the day....I gladly volunteered...I love hanging out with my boys

So started the evening gossiping at Spot with Derek...saw this hot gay Joe...I wish he were straight pretty badly....there's something about him that's really attractive...could be his cockiness...could be his general physique...Joey K and Eric showed up, followed up by we headed out on the town

Went to Shanghai for some sushi and crab rangoon...can't help myself I know it's fake crab but I love it...had some interesting conversations about popular sex toys for gays and poop...Ryan is a nurse and dealt with a rather horrendous experience in ICU today...and yes this was all while some point I thought Diet Pepsi was going to shoot out of my nose...

Went to Ryan's afterward...his mom is in town because his brother is getting married and she's helping his fiance dress shop....she is the most hysterical woman ever...she pokes fun at her own Long Island accent...loves that her son is gay (she wore a shirt that said Proud Maker of the next Pride generation--super cute!)...told us corny jokes and a story about a really awkward Kathie Lee Gifford moment...after a few drinks with her we headed out to Q...his mom hugged us all goodbye

I had never been there before and I think it clearly showed as I continued to swivel my head around taking in the people and scenery...I had never seen so many horned up gay men gays never really date anyone...not seriously anyway...and if they are together they keep the PDA to a minimum...these men acted as though they had just gotten out of prison...there was a lot of guy on guy action...and then my guys all hugging drinks and sticking close to me...I had dressed for casual Friday at work in a polo jeans and work boots, acceptable in construction...but can be confused for lesbian in a gay they were keeping an eye on me, although there were only about 2 women in the bar (one of them questionable) so I wasn't really worried. 

After some fun times of dancing to Mariah Carey and watching Eric get really uncomfortable because of a few come-ons from weird old men, we headed out...the boys went down to Cathode and I was going back to my bed which was calling me, very loudly...on the way back got hit on by a bouncer at a another bar...for any of the male readers we might have....hey girl you look not going to make any self respecting girl come running...and got accosted by a drunk gay man who was asking for cookies....

All in all, had a fantastic time, my boys tell me how pretty and wonderful I am....why can't this happen with straight men?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I hate when I get like this...truth is I am uber-lame

So....I'm already talking to a new guy, his name is's been about a week and of course in typical me fashion I am smitten...


Name: James
Age: 35
Children: yes, one, with the ex
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
General: Super Hot! Like unbelievably so...I keep thinking I'm going to be punked
Hometown: Florence, Italy

We e-mail pretty frequently (yes I realize in a week, who can really say frequently?) but ok like almost every day...I sent him an e-mail 2 days ago and he hasn't e-mailed yet...and it's killing me...I have no idea's like every action and non-action has an effect on me...I hate when I'm like this...but I love the stories he tells about his life (and he tells me how amazing I am--who doesn't love that?)

And yes, this is who my facebook status was about....again because I am lame