Friday, January 28, 2011


Maybe he’s busy. Maybe I’m being dramatic. Maybe it wasn’t going to work from the start…

I feel like I’m losing ground already…and there was barely any ground made…if this is the case I am SO getting drunk tonight

I didn’t even buy new underwear…where’s this all coming from?

Things are so complicated…or at least they feel that way…

So to give you an update…all in the past 24 hours, things have gone from completely fabulous to semi-ridiculous

I did buy champagne, as a surprise…maybe that’s whose fault it is…

He told me he loved me, while we were making out and like an idiot I said it back and then felt weird…because it’s too soon, because I don’t know, because people don’t act like this a few weeks in do they?

His soon-to-be ex-wife found out about us…we have mutual friends…she’s completely pissed despite having a boyfriend (including pre-separation)…she’s looking up info about me…it bugs him to a point that I think he can’t deal with it…not sure which one of us is getting the boot in this situation (this may be my own pessimism but let’s be real here---he could still love her)

They didn’t separate before the divorce…this bugs me, to a point that I don’t know if I’m a girlfriend or just a mistress…our weekend to Toronto is the same weekend she’s away in San Francisco…this made me feel more like the mistress/mid-life crisis…I went back on match last night and started looking around…I feel like him not messaging me back today is because he knows about it…

He’s pressuring me about meeting my family…I don’t know if I’m ready for it…I normally keep everything compartmentalized…and what if he thinks my family is weird…I’m protective about them…why does he want to meet them so badly?

The diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds thing was probably a joke…

I’d like to really hope this is just me being dramatic

I hope we’re still going to Toronto

I hope he still likes me

I hate waiting



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